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Simple, inclusive celebrations with a fussy eater

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Simple, inclusive celebrations with a fussy eater

Often parties and special occasions are a real challenge with a child who does not eat widely. One of the biggest of these for many people is coming up soon! It is one of the places where a spotlight can be shined on a limited diet and where both parent and child feel uncomfortable.

As special occasions are supposed to be ‘special’ for everyone, I am always looking for ways to be inclusive and therefore, make them joyful for the whole family. Using a bit of creativity, you can easily create menus that appeal to all.

If you are catering a party
yourself, or it is at the house of a relative or friend who is open to being flexible, there are some simple ideas that
can work well.

The beauty of these communal ideas is that they are a crowd pleaser no matter who is on the guest list. Many of the things that challenge your child can also be points of discomfort for others. There are many adults who have dietary restrictions and so having flexibility provides ease for both host and guests. If  you are hosting a lunch, a dinner, or providing food for guests it is worth considering inclusive celebrations.

Simple, inclusive celebrations

A pasta bar

Many fussy eaters are okay with pasta, but often only if it is plain, or with just a favoured topping on it. Involving your child in a meal and still catering to others is super simple with a pasta bar.

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Provide a selection of pasta options (or just one, that happens to be a child’s favourite) with a range of sauces to add. You can also have garlic bread, rolls or slices of bread which will often be within a child’s comfort zone too. If you have guests who are gluten free this is easy to cater too.

You can provide bowls with additional options to add to the pasta, like olives, bacon, ham, mushrooms, chicken, prawns, and grated cheese. A big salad or some roasted vegetables create the perfect side dish. This also means that people can opt in for the foods that tick boxes for them so keto, for example, is also covered.

Being able to build your own pasta is fun, it is empowering, it is inclusive, and it is a great way to cater to all tastes.

Showing your child in pictures that they can join in what could be a very challenging social event, is also a great way to make them feel more confident. It is amazing what a few positive experiences can do to help them feel differently about communal occasions.

A sandwich bar

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Most picky eaters are okay with sandwiches, and it is a simple and low-cost way to feed guests too. Providing a selection of different breads can cater to tastes and intolerances. For a more upmarket meal, use specialty loaves to create a gourmet feast.

You can serve a range of foods as main fillings, everything from smoked salmon, sliced meat, and chicken slices to grated cheese. If your child is more of a peanut butter or honey fan these can of course be served too, perhaps in fancy little bowls.

On the side having everything from sliced tomatoes to baby spinach leaves enables people to create a personalised sandwich or skip the bread and eat just the salad items.

A grazing table

All the rage at the moment and of course, it does not have to be directly onto a table, you can have an anti-pasto platter. This is often a great fit for a more hesitant eater as you can make sure there are options that tick boxes for them.

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Crackers, cheese, mini toasts, slices of ham or salami, sausages, boiled eggs, dried fruit etc. If they have a super restrictive range of foods then again, it is not an issue to have bowls with peanut butter and jam too, for example.

A salad bar

This does not sound like a fun thing for a picky eater but there are lots of ways you can make this rock for anyone. Provide bowls with individual salad components as a base, but then to be more inclusive you can have additions like, grated cheese, bacon pieces, slices of sausage, eggs, ham, and pieces of chicken, for example.

You can also provide dressings to add and there is no reason not to have, for example, ketchup or honey and some bread on the side.

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A potato bar

If your child loves potato, you can offer everything from fries to wedges to jackets. This can create a meal that is also appropriate for adults.

Having a salad and a series of protein sides creates an inclusive feast for everyone.

Mexican

Often children are fine with corn chips so basing a meal around these plus tacos, can work. Or, if wraps are within the comfort zone, then building a burrito or organising some simple quesadillas can be a win.

Mince, chicken, pork, cheese, sour cream, salsa, guacamole, salads, there is something for everyone.

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If all your child takes is a bowl of corn chips the first time you offer food like this, it is still a great way for them to participate and not be the centre of attention in a negative way.

Similarly, it may be an anxiety inducing situation so the volume they eat may be small, but they are also learning and building the ability to cope better. It will get easier as time goes on.

Yoghurt/fruit/dessert bar

For a lighter meal you can offer fruit, yoghurt, ice cream and desserts. Again, having choices that work for both adults and your child is absolutely manageable, and helps to include your child, but without compromising food for others, a win-win!

The positives

The low-pressure situation, where food can be taken or left, can also lead to surprising choices.

When there is no obligation to eat anything specific it can be where things like peer pressure and the desire to keep up with the cousins, for example, often leads to more adventurous eating.

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A word of caution: having well-meaning friends or relatives who try to ‘help’ your child eat, or who have advice you must take, can be a real challenge. If this is a concern perhaps you are able to talk to them in advance about how you are wanting to include your child in a new way and that leaving your child to make decisions without input works best.

Choosing food and eating communally is a really positive way to build up comfort levels in a social setting for your child.

I hope this has given you a different and more positive perspective on inclusive celebrations and navigating these with a food anxious child. There are often simple solutions that take stress away from us, as parents, as they enable our child to participate and to enjoy parties and gatherings.

Judith, MA Cantab (Cambridge University), MSc Psychology (first-class honours), is working on a PhD, is an AOTA accredited picky eating advisor and internationally certified nutritional therapist. She works with 100+ families every year resolving fussy eating and returning pleasure and joy to the meal table.

She is also mum to two boys and the author of Creating Confident Eaters and Winner Winner I Eat Dinner. Her dream is that every child can approach food from a place of safety and joy, not fear.

Learn more about Judith here: https://theconfidenteater.com/about/

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