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Is fussy eating a modern phenomenon? Judith Yeabsley|Fussy Eating NZ, fussyeatingamodernthing, #pickyeatingamodernthing, #helpaddingfoodsfussyeating, #helpfortoddlerfussyeaters, #helpfortoddlerpickyeaters, #helpaddingfoodforpickyeaters, #theconfidenteater, #fussyeatingNZ, #pickyeatingNZ #helpforpickyeaters, #helpforpickyeating, #recipespickyeaterswilleat, #recipesfussyeaterswilleat #winnerwinnerIeatdinner, #Recipesforpickyeaters, #Foodforpickyeaters, #wellington, #NZ, #judithyeabsley, #helpforfussyeating, #helpforfussyeaters, #fussyeater, #fussyeating, #pickyeater, #pickyeating, #supportforpickyeaters, #creatingconfidenteaters, #newfoods, #bookforpickyeaters, #thepickypack, #funfoodsforpickyeaters, #funfoodsdforfussyeaters

Are kids fussy because modern parents spoil them?

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Are kids fussy because modern parents spoil them? Judith Yeabsley|Fussy Eating NZ, #AreKidsFussyBecauseModernParentsSpoilThem, #TheConfidentEater, #FussyEatingNZ, #TryNewFoods #HelpForFussyEating, #HelpForFussyEaters, #FussyEater, #FussyEating, #PickyEater, #PickyEating, #SupportForFussyEaters, #SupportForPickyEaters, #CreatingConfidentEaters, #TryNewFood #PickyEatingNZ #HelpForPickyEaters, #HelpForPickyEating, #Wellington, #NZ, #JudithYeabsley

Are kids fussy because modern parents spoil them?

“In my day, no one was a picky eater”

Face palm for the number of ‘older’ people who tell me this.

“In my day my mother served the food and if you didn’t eat it, you’d just go hungry”.

“We weren’t allowed to be fussy”

Etc. etc.

It is also a question I frequently get asked by parents – “Is picky eating a modern phenomenon?” – and I think my answer is both a yes and a no.

So, were kids fussy?

Let’s discuss the yes and the no’s 😊

1. Were there fussy eaters in previous generations? Absolutely! How many stories are there
of ‘Uncle Mick’ who lived on peanut butter sandwiches until he was ten.

Or how they used to come to the table and refuse to eat anything so were ravenous by the time breakfast rolled around.

A few years ago, a big survey was conducted in the US asking adults whether they identified as a picky eater. 26% said yes. That means a quarter of those interviewed thought of themselves as fussy.

As it’s less common to develop picky in later life than to have it from childhood, that’s a lot
of fussy children. Although not a scientific study, it gives an indication of how prevalent fussy eating is!

I know from experience fussy eating is frequently a guilty secret so it’s not something spoken about. Parents often hide their child’s challenges from others, and then as children age, they disguise their own habits.

Is fussy eating a modern phenomenon? Judith Yeabsley|Fussy Eating NZ, secret, fussyeatingamodernthing, #pickyeatingamodernthing, #helpaddingfoodsfussyeating, #helpfortoddlerfussyeaters, #helpfortoddlerpickyeaters, #helpaddingfoodforpickyeaters, #theconfidenteater, #fussyeatingNZ, #pickyeatingNZ #helpforpickyeaters, #helpforpickyeating, #recipespickyeaterswilleat, #recipesfussyeaterswilleat #winnerwinnerIeatdinner, #Recipesforpickyeaters, #Foodforpickyeaters, #wellington, #NZ, #judithyeabsley, #helpforfussyeating, #helpforfussyeaters, #fussyeater, #fussyeating, #pickyeater, #pickyeating, #supportforpickyeaters, #creatingconfidenteaters, #newfoods, #bookforpickyeaters, #thepickypack, #funfoodsforpickyeaters, #funfoodsdforfussyeaters

I also follow a Facebook page for adult picky eaters and there are so many of them! Their stories are often devastatingly emotive describing the number of challenges they face that most of us don’t even think about.

2. Do as I say. I was raised by parents who believed children should do what they were told if the instruction came from an adult.

Although this may have led to children eating things they would not normally choose to, it has also generated a lot of negative experiences and thoughts about food.

Parents my age, commonly relate traumatic stories, like being forced to eat something, or having cold dinner served for breakfast. One dad even told me he’d been tied to a chair!!

In none of these situations did the misguided efforts of their parents lead to a love of that food.

Is fussy eating a modern phenomenon? Judith Yeabsley|Fussy Eating NZ, unhappy adult, fussyeatingamodernthing, #pickyeatingamodernthing, #helpaddingfoodsfussyeating, #helpfortoddlerfussyeaters, #helpfortoddlerpickyeaters, #helpaddingfoodforpickyeaters, #theconfidenteater, #fussyeatingNZ, #pickyeatingNZ #helpforpickyeaters, #helpforpickyeating, #recipespickyeaterswilleat, #recipesfussyeaterswilleat #winnerwinnerIeatdinner, #Recipesforpickyeaters, #Foodforpickyeaters, #wellington, #NZ, #judithyeabsley, #helpforfussyeating, #helpforfussyeaters, #fussyeater, #fussyeating, #pickyeater, #pickyeating, #supportforpickyeaters, #creatingconfidenteaters, #newfoods, #bookforpickyeaters, #thepickypack, #funfoodsforpickyeaters, #funfoodsdforfussyeaters

Therefore, let me jump on my soap box. If what we do doesn’t lead to a love of a food, then it’s counterproductive. Yes, it may result in short-term ‘better’ eating but long-term it can often do more damage than good.

Hiding food … mumble, mumble…

3. Limited choices. When I was growing up meals were prepared – generally by the mum – and that was what was to eat. There just wasn’t the choice that is available today. Swapping was far more difficult!

Fussy eating now

1. Parenting is different. I communicate differently with my children than how my parents related to me. Similarly, I give them autonomy over decisions that my parents would not have. I do not expect them to do something just because I say so.

I do, however, still have boundaries and expectations, they are just phrased and communicated in different ways.

The challenge is, finding the right balance between giving children autonomy and yet still maintaining control. I know I have frequently got it wrong!

If simple parameters are not in place around food things can quickly go south.

I find this is one area where most parents (including me) get it wrong.

Is fussy eating a modern phenomenon? Judith Yeabsley|Fussy Eating NZ, packet snacks, fussyeatingamodernthing, #pickyeatingamodernthing, #helpaddingfoodsfussyeating, #helpfortoddlerfussyeaters, #helpfortoddlerpickyeaters, #helpaddingfoodforpickyeaters, #theconfidenteater, #fussyeatingNZ, #pickyeatingNZ #helpforpickyeaters, #helpforpickyeating, #recipespickyeaterswilleat, #recipesfussyeaterswilleat #winnerwinnerIeatdinner, #Recipesforpickyeaters, #Foodforpickyeaters, #wellington, #NZ, #judithyeabsley, #helpforfussyeating, #helpforfussyeaters, #fussyeater, #fussyeating, #pickyeater, #pickyeating, #supportforpickyeaters, #creatingconfidenteaters, #newfoods, #bookforpickyeaters, #thepickypack, #funfoodsforpickyeaters, #funfoodsdforfussyeaters

2. Choice. Modern children are naturally given more choices around food (see point above). They are also able to substitute food more easily than in years past.

There are so many ready to eat choices available it is far easier to skip the family meals.

3. Life is busy and stressful. Many parents work long hours or under pressure. Even for parents who stay at home there is more emphasis on filling the hours with activity.

Children too often have busy schedules with lots of activities, sports, and social occasions.

All this contributes to less time and energy to expend on cooking and eating. Meals are more likely to be ad hoc and frequently snacks are needed to fill hungry tummies.

What you can do to improve feeding

As fussy eating may be more prevalent these days, for the reasons discussed above, let’s look at ways you can still support your child to eat widely and well within those challenges:

1. Take control around food. I’m talking about boundaries and expectations not becoming a dictator! I know how badly that would go down in my house 😊

Is fussy eating a modern phenomenon? Judith Yeabsley|Fussy Eating NZ, authoritarian parent, fussyeatingamodernthing, #pickyeatingamodernthing, #helpaddingfoodsfussyeating, #helpfortoddlerfussyeaters, #helpfortoddlerpickyeaters, #helpaddingfoodforpickyeaters, #theconfidenteater, #fussyeatingNZ, #pickyeatingNZ #helpforpickyeaters, #helpforpickyeating, #recipespickyeaterswilleat, #recipesfussyeaterswilleat #winnerwinnerIeatdinner, #Recipesforpickyeaters, #Foodforpickyeaters, #wellington, #NZ, #judithyeabsley, #helpforfussyeating, #helpforfussyeaters, #fussyeater, #fussyeating, #pickyeater, #pickyeating, #supportforpickyeaters, #creatingconfidenteaters, #newfoods, #bookforpickyeaters, #thepickypack, #funfoodsforpickyeaters, #funfoodsdforfussyeaters

Being in control means that you decide some of the key parameters, like when it is dinner time and when it’s not. Having set times for eating makes a big difference to how well meals go.

These can be flexible from day to day, it’s more about having times that are for eating and times that are not, rather than having an open pantry or grazing.

Snacks are often far easier to eat than regular food so if you do allow your child to fill up on them, they can come into meals not hungry enough to be motivated about what you serve. They are then of course, hungry again after dinner exacerbating the cycle.

Having parameters and expectations around eating is also good for your child. Knowing what is going to be happening and when is positive.

2. Choice. There are so many food options and many of them are designed to be convenient, and oh so more-ish!

If you want your child to eat more of the dinner-type foods – which is the core challenge for most parents of fussy eaters – then deciding what is on the menu is important.

Is fussy eating a modern phenomenon? Judith Yeabsley|Fussy Eating NZ, sausages, fussyeatingamodernthing, #pickyeatingamodernthing, #helpaddingfoodsfussyeating, #helpfortoddlerfussyeaters, #helpfortoddlerpickyeaters, #helpaddingfoodforpickyeaters, #theconfidenteater, #fussyeatingNZ, #pickyeatingNZ #helpforpickyeaters, #helpforpickyeating, #recipespickyeaterswilleat, #recipesfussyeaterswilleat #winnerwinnerIeatdinner, #Recipesforpickyeaters, #Foodforpickyeaters, #wellington, #NZ, #judithyeabsley, #helpforfussyeating, #helpforfussyeaters, #fussyeater, #fussyeating, #pickyeater, #pickyeating, #supportforpickyeaters, #creatingconfidenteaters, #newfoods, #bookforpickyeaters, #thepickypack, #funfoodsforpickyeaters, #funfoodsdforfussyeaters

You can still give your child choices within that. It may be “did you want sausages or pasta for dinner”? But then if your child chooses sausages that is what is served, and no swaps are permitted.

If you serve a sausage they normally enjoy and they decide not to eat it then that is generally behavioral, rather than about eating. In that case I would treat it like any other behavioral challenge.

3. Finding spaces for eating. Busy lives can make it difficult to have meals together.

However, a family meal is one child and one adult so even in mad lives you can usually squeeze quite a few of these in during the week. If dinner is difficult then breakfast and lunch can still be important ways to model eating well and instill positive messages around food.

Remember, your children learn far more from watching you than they do from instructions 😊

Even if you are all rushing around, you can still do things that improve eating like making sure snacks are not prioritized over other foods. Or looking for snacks that tick boxes in terms of nutrients.

If you do have challenges caused by modern pressures, I have lots of strategies to work around them. Feel free to get in touch If you do have challenges caused by modern pressures, I have lots of strategies to work around them. Feel free to get in touch as it’s unlikely your kids are fussy primarily due to you!!

Judith, MA Cantab (Cambridge University), MSc Psychology (first-class honours), is working on a PhD, an AOTA accredited picky eating advisor and internationally certified nutritional therapist. She works with 100+ families every year resolving fussy eating and returning pleasure and joy to the meal table.

She is also mum to two boys and the author of Creating Confident Eaters and Winner Winner I Eat Dinner. Her dream is that every child can approach food from a place of safety and joy, not fear.

Learn more about Judith here: https://theconfidenteater.com/about/

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