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What I learned from chicken nuggets

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What I learned from chicken nuggets, Judith Yeabsley|Fussy Eating NZ, #WhatILearnedFromChickenNuggets, # WhatILearnedFromChickenNuggetsForFussyEaters, # WhatILearnedFromChickenNuggetsForPickyEaters #TryNewFoods, #TheConfidentEater, #FussyEatingNZ, #HelpForFussyEating, #HelpForFussyEaters, #FussyEater, #FussyEating, #PickyEater, #PickyEating, #SupportForFussyEaters, #SupportForPickyEaters, #CreatingConfidentEaters, #TryNewFood #PickyEatingNZ #HelpForPickyEaters, #HelpForPickyEating, #Wellington, #NZ, #JudithYeabsley

What chicken nuggets taught me

Working with over 100 families a year as a Picky Eating Advisor provides a lot of stories from the meal table. Some of them are memorable because they are amusing, some because they are the story of 1,000 other families, and some because they teach us a valuable lesson.

When I am talking to parents, I often learn new things or a new approach too. The relationship is definitely not only one way.

One of these stories is the lesson of the chicken nuggets.

Chicken nuggets or other ‘must haves’

Often fussy eaters have a fairly narrow range of foods that they eat.

Because of this they tend to eat them every day, or at least on a very frequent basis. This leads to a few further challenges:

1. Repetition narrows choices. The more often a child eats only a narrow band of foods, the more difficult it becomes to accept foods outside of those choices.

2. Boredom. If a child eats the same foods over and over again, it is quite common to get bored with eating them.

Often children who are picky eaters do not have a lot of enthusiasm for food, but how much of this is because they just are not that interested in eating, and how much because it is not interesting or exciting is hard to know!

This is one of the picky eating paradoxes, children only want to eat a narrow band of foods, but then they are bored eating just those.

What I learned from chicken nuggets, Judith Yeabsley|Fussy Eating NZ, Crackers, #WhatILearnedFromChickenNuggets, # WhatILearnedFromChickenNuggetsForFussyEaters, # WhatILearnedFromChickenNuggetsForPickyEaters #TryNewFoods, #TheConfidentEater, #FussyEatingNZ, #HelpForFussyEating, #HelpForFussyEaters, #FussyEater, #FussyEating, #PickyEater, #PickyEating, #SupportForFussyEaters, #SupportForPickyEaters, #CreatingConfidentEaters, #TryNewFood #PickyEatingNZ #HelpForPickyEaters, #HelpForPickyEating, #Wellington, #NZ, #JudithYeabsley

 

3. Dropping foods. It is common for fussy eaters to drop foods. If you ate a particular food day in day out wouldn’t you get bored, I would.

Or maybe a child has a ‘bad’ experience and so no longer wants to eat that food. This may be something minor in the scheme of things but can put a food hesitant child off eating. For example, the sandwich goes mushy, or the chicken nuggets are overcooked.

Dropping foods is not part of the ‘they’ll just grow out of it myth’ but if I had a dollar for every parent I speak to who says “my child used to eat …” I’d be rich ☹

4. Rigidity increases. When children are eating a narrow range of foods they can become hyper-focused on them and so notice minute imperfections or begin to refuse them unless they are ‘just like this’.

What I learned from chicken nuggets, Judith Yeabsley|Fussy Eating NZ, Apple, #WhatILearnedFromChickenNuggets, # WhatILearnedFromChickenNuggetsForFussyEaters, # WhatILearnedFromChickenNuggetsForPickyEaters #TryNewFoods, #TheConfidentEater, #FussyEatingNZ, #HelpForFussyEating, #HelpForFussyEaters, #FussyEater, #FussyEating, #PickyEater, #PickyEating, #SupportForFussyEaters, #SupportForPickyEaters, #CreatingConfidentEaters, #TryNewFood #PickyEatingNZ #HelpForPickyEaters, #HelpForPickyEating, #Wellington, #NZ, #JudithYeabsley

 

In fact, this is a really common, but rarely discussed issue. Often, when children have a limited diet they also develop a more and more rigid approach to those foods they do eat.

It may be only accepting a particular brand, but it can also then extend to having only the ones that are cooked an exact way or by a specific parent!

This can be really, really frustrating for parents, as you can imagine. It also makes things far more challenging for the whole family on a lot of levels:

i) Attempting perfection. Not only having only certain foods that can be served but also now having to buy/prepare/cook/serve in a specific way is soul destroying. I know parents who cook 7 pieces of toast in the morning to get the perfect colour and texture ☹

ii) Socially challenging. It means a child is less socially flexible as they may go to a friend’s house and be served a favourite food, but be unable to eat it as it’s a slightly different brand or version.

What I learned from chicken nuggets, Judith Yeabsley|Fussy Eating NZ, Toast, #WhatILearnedFromChickenNuggets, # WhatILearnedFromChickenNuggetsForFussyEaters, # WhatILearnedFromChickenNuggetsForPickyEaters #TryNewFoods, #TheConfidentEater, #FussyEatingNZ, #HelpForFussyEating, #HelpForFussyEaters, #FussyEater, #FussyEating, #PickyEater, #PickyEating, #SupportForFussyEaters, #SupportForPickyEaters, #CreatingConfidentEaters, #TryNewFood #PickyEatingNZ #HelpForPickyEaters, #HelpForPickyEating, #Wellington, #NZ, #JudithYeabsley

iii) Family restricted. The family may be limited in how they can operate in terms of travel, restaurants, and socialising.

One of the mum’s I spoke to was in this exact situation. Her son ate a limited number of foods and was becoming more and more rigid about the specifics of the foods he did eat. One of these was chicken nuggets.

The lesson of the chicken nuggets

Mum was being driven crackers by the chicken nuggets. Brand A was the only one that her son would accept, and she was so frustrated as they could not go to a café or a restaurant as a different nugget was like a whole new food for her child.

Like most parents she found it really difficult to accept that there was a noticeable difference between brands, to the point that only one was okay and all the rest were rejected. She also got nowhere discussing this with her son as he refused to even contemplate eating a different nugget.

Mum was on a mission and decided that she was going to crack this, she was going to introduce a new chicken nugget however long it took.

There are of course gentle ways to do this, and this is the course she took.

From then on, every time she served chicken nuggets, she would serve a portion of the favoured brand and next to them, one piece of a new brand of nugget.

What I learned from chicken nuggets, Judith Yeabsley|Fussy Eating NZ, Nuggets, #WhatILearnedFromChickenNuggets, # WhatILearnedFromChickenNuggetsForFussyEaters, # WhatILearnedFromChickenNuggetsForPickyEaters #TryNewFoods, #TheConfidentEater, #FussyEatingNZ, #HelpForFussyEating, #HelpForFussyEaters, #FussyEater, #FussyEating, #PickyEater, #PickyEating, #SupportForFussyEaters, #SupportForPickyEaters, #CreatingConfidentEaters, #TryNewFood #PickyEatingNZ #HelpForPickyEaters, #HelpForPickyEating, #Wellington, #NZ, #JudithYeabsley

She did this week in and week out.

One evening after about two months, her son suddenly picked up the new nugget, bit into it and said “hey, these are okay”.

There were many emotions running through mum at that moment, I will leave it to you to imagine!!

What have we learned from the chicken nuggets?

Probably not from the chicken nuggets themselves, but from the story of the nuggets 😊

1. Challenge. If a child has a limited diet, adding new foods is not going to be easy. It will probably also be a slow process.

2. Rigidity. The more rigid around food a child becomes the more challenging things are. It’s important not to get to this stage, if at all possible. In fact, if you see this starting to happen, it’s probably time to ask for help.

When doing the ‘right’ thing isn’t enough?, Judith Yeabsley|Fussy Eating NZ, Judith with client, #WhenDoingTheRightThingIsntEnoughForFussyEaters, #WhenDoingTheRightThingIsntEnoughForPickyEaters #TryNewFoods, #TheConfidentEater, #FussyEatingNZ, #HelpForFussyEating, #HelpForFussyEaters, #FussyEater, #FussyEating, #PickyEater, #PickyEating, #SupportForFussyEaters, #SupportForPickyEaters, #CreatingConfidentEaters, #TryNewFood #PickyEatingNZ #HelpForPickyEaters, #HelpForPickyEating, #Wellington, #NZ, #JudithYeabsley

3. Superheroes. Parents can make a difference. However, extreme, or stubborn a child seems around food, you can support them to add new foods. This mum was one I had worked with so yes, she had extra tools, but she also thought this through and came up with her own plan.

I love this story and tell it time and again. Not because it’s an unusual story, in fact, I have seen the same sort of thing happen over and over, but more because it’s such a simple way to see how things can work and how you can support your child to take steps forwards.

What can parents do?

There is a lot to learn from the chicken nuggets story:

1. Confidence. It takes confidence on a parent’s part that they can be part of the solution, that they really can make a difference, even if experience has shown them the opposite.

What I learned from chicken nuggets, Judith Yeabsley|Fussy Eating NZ, Confident mum, #WhatILearnedFromChickenNuggets, # WhatILearnedFromChickenNuggetsForFussyEaters, # WhatILearnedFromChickenNuggetsForPickyEaters #TryNewFoods, #TheConfidentEater, #FussyEatingNZ, #HelpForFussyEating, #HelpForFussyEaters, #FussyEater, #FussyEating, #PickyEater, #PickyEating, #SupportForFussyEaters, #SupportForPickyEaters, #CreatingConfidentEaters, #TryNewFood #PickyEatingNZ #HelpForPickyEaters, #HelpForPickyEating, #Wellington, #NZ, #JudithYeabsley

2. Determination. Parents will need determination and consistency. Mum in the nuggets story did not give up, even when faced with refusal over and over again, she was tenacious and kept going.

3. Rejection. A child is probably going to say or show “no” over and over again. That is to be expected. It is a question of continuing on anyway.

4. Gentle. It is usually possible to find a gentle way to help a child to add a new food. This mum did just that.

None of this was about forcing her child to eat a new brand. It was all about exposing him to it, allowing him to become comfortable with it and most importantly, giving him the opportunity to eat it. If she hadn’t served it he wouldn’t have been able to eat it.

When she served the new chicken nuggets she also did not make a big song and dance and attempt to convince him to eat them. Primarily, she just served them with no pressure on him to perform.

What I learned from chicken nuggets, Judith Yeabsley|Fussy Eating NZ, Chicken nuggets, #WhatILearnedFromChickenNuggets, # WhatILearnedFromChickenNuggetsForFussyEaters, # WhatILearnedFromChickenNuggetsForPickyEaters #TryNewFoods, #TheConfidentEater, #FussyEatingNZ, #HelpForFussyEating, #HelpForFussyEaters, #FussyEater, #FussyEating, #PickyEater, #PickyEating, #SupportForFussyEaters, #SupportForPickyEaters, #CreatingConfidentEaters, #TryNewFood #PickyEatingNZ #HelpForPickyEaters, #HelpForPickyEating, #Wellington, #NZ, #JudithYeabsley

– Over the course of the 2 months, she didn’t hear him say anything about the new chicken nuggets.

– She did not see him touch them.

– In fact, there were zero external signs he was even noticing that new chicken nugget that was always there.

The cure for food rigidity

The simplest way to prevent rigidity becoming an issue, is to ensure that a child sees changes as often as possible. These do not have to be big things, in fact, the smaller they are the better.

The same theory of small change applies if a child has already become very specific around how food has to be prepared. In this case, perhaps picking a food where the rigidity is less extreme can be easier.

Some examples of small changes may be presenting foods slightly differently. If this was a nugget, it may be cutting them in half instead of leaving them whole. Or putting them on skewer. Perhaps it is serving them alongside a dip or maybe it is having them on a cracker or a piece of toast.

What I learned from chicken nuggets, Judith Yeabsley|Fussy Eating NZ, Half nuggets, #WhatILearnedFromChickenNuggets, # WhatILearnedFromChickenNuggetsForFussyEaters, # WhatILearnedFromChickenNuggetsForPickyEaters #TryNewFoods, #TheConfidentEater, #FussyEatingNZ, #HelpForFussyEating, #HelpForFussyEaters, #FussyEater, #FussyEating, #PickyEater, #PickyEating, #SupportForFussyEaters, #SupportForPickyEaters, #CreatingConfidentEaters, #TryNewFood #PickyEatingNZ #HelpForPickyEaters, #HelpForPickyEating, #Wellington, #NZ, #JudithYeabsley

What could you do to support your child to do something a little differently today?

Do you know someone else who would benefit from hearing about rigidity? If so, please share the article.

Judith, MA Cantab (Cambridge University), Post Grad Dip Psychology (Massey University), is an AOTA accredited picky eating advisor and internationally certified nutritional therapist. She works with 100+ families every year resolving fussy eating and returning pleasure and joy to the meal table.

She is also mum to two boys and the author of Creating Confident Eaters and Winner Winner I Eat Dinner. Her dream is that every child is able to approach food from a place of safety and joy, not fear.

Learn more about Judith here: https://theconfidenteater.com/about/

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