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5 top tips for holidays with a fussy eater

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5 Top tips for managing holidays with a fussy eater

School holidays are on the horizon in Aotearoa NZ, so it seemed a good time to share a few tips on how to manage trips away with a fussy eater.

If you’re not due holidays, or not traveling this time, you can favourite the blog and come back to it. However, many of the main messages are useful even if you’re just going across town for a meal with relatives!

Travel with a picky eater can be a minefield. I know countless parents whose biggest stress when going away is how to cater to their child’s eating. Or, whether a holiday may set eating back and contribute to additional fussiness.

I also know many parents who pack suitcases of food to ensure they have foods that their child can eat when away. Experience tells them it’s better than the worry that their child goes hungry or has major meltdowns over food ☹

None of this speaks to the relaxation most of us go away to achieve.

Paradoxically, there can also be positives in the eating sphere when children are away from home, so let us look at those too!

Managing holidays with a fussy eater

1. Managing change. The biggest challenge for many fussy eaters is the fear of/a change from foods that are comfortably eaten. New foods can be anxiety producing.

Even a slight variation on an accepted food may make it seem like a new food to an extremely selective eater.

You may look at a different chicken nugget and think it seems virtually identical to the ones you serve at home. A child may look at the nugget and see the difference between an apple and an orange, sure they are both fruits, but not even close to being the ‘same’.

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If you are going to be on the road, planning ahead so there are familiar places to eat can help things run a little more smoothly. That way, you’ll know there will be foods your child is comfortable with and it helps them too as they’ll know what to expect.

Sometimes it’s not possible to find accepted foods, or you cannot guarantee that you’ll be there at the right time, so having emergency supplies is always a good idea.

2. Sticking to routines. A good part of being away from home is that you can let go of some of the normal routines that make life run smoothly at home.

Although it’s great to relax and go with the flow, some routines around eating can be really supportive for a fussy eater:

– If a child is eating only snacks it can detract from meals. Although having fun foods are a great part of holidays, eating some nutrient dense options usually does make anyone feel better.

– Knowing when food is coming can be comforting for many children especially if there is already the concern about new foods. Explaining when you will be eating and where can be comforting.

– If your child eats a great breakfast, for example, but finds other meals more of a challenge, ensuring they eat a hearty meal first thing in the morning may mean you know that they have at least had one decent meal in the day.

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3. Manage meals. 

– Knowing what to expect, and addressing some of the possible negatives before you go, can be comforting. For example, explaining where you’ll be eating and what it will be like. Photos of a restaurant may be positive or, if possible, checking out the menu online beforehand and talking through what will be okay for your child.

– You can talk through strategies with a child to better manage what may happen and at the same time, set expectations. For example, perhaps it’s staying at the table, even if the food isn’t within their comfort zone.

– If you are going to eat out and know that it will be a real challenge for your child to enjoy the food served, you can organize for them to eat before and after the meal. Being hungry does not make for great behaviour!

– If you are eating with relatives perhaps, you can help steer the menu so there are foods your child can eat. Or maybe, you can take a share plate with some of your child’s foods, so you know there is food available for them too.

– If restaurants are difficult, are you able to do picnics or cafés instead?

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As part of this, I think it’s useful to establish what your goals around the holiday are. If you are only going away for a short period of time then making things as easy for you and your child as possible, can be a positive. If that means pasta and crackers, then perhaps that’s okay.

Although most parents consistently want their child to eat more comfortably, holidays are not usually the best times for teaching!

4. Opportunities. Despite not being the best time for ‘teaching’ better eating, holidays can provide unique opportunities for improving eating. I know of many examples of even very selective eaters that have taken unusual steps forwards on holidays:

– When they are around other children or relatives, you may see progress as a child desperately wants to eat the fruit popsicle, for example, even though normally they are rejected. Or is desperate to try porridge because it’s Grandad’s favourite.

– Sometimes you are at a fair, café or market and food is available that your child does not normally accept, but this time the unique atmosphere or set of circumstances mean they have a go.

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– Occasionally they are more hungry or more relaxed, for example, so more open to tasting a new food.

5. Supports. Change can be hard for many children. Even though you may be delighted you’re escaping your normal four walls, this may be anxiety inducing for your child. I know my eldest would always opt for staying at home if given the choice (although he usually enjoys himself once away).

Finding ways to bridge the gap between home and away, especially in the food sphere can be comforting. Perhaps this is taking a special plate or showing your child you have a supply of their favourite crackers.

Maybe it’s having a list of the special foods you are going to hunt down while you are away. Our holiday tradition is hunting down the best rated ice cream parlour in the area!

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It can also be managing some of the things that may make things more challenging. For example, relatives that insist on making comments about the way a child eats. If this is the case, are you able to have a gentle conversation with them beforehand?

Holidays can reveal holes

Many parents realise their child’s eating is worse than they thought only when away from the home environment. It is often easier to cater to a child at home as over time you come up with compromising rituals and routines that make things work.

Once away from home, when those routines are impossible, or when your child is around other children, you begin to notice just how many compromises are necessary to keep the bus on the road!

If you have reached this point and realise that the eating is just not where you were expecting and that changes to routine reveal challenges managing holidays, please get in touch. I’m happy to speak to any parent with concerns about their child’s eating.

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Judith, MA Cantab (Cambridge University), MSc Psychology (first-class honours), is working on a PhD, an AOTA accredited picky eating advisor and internationally certified nutritional therapist. She works with 100+ families every year resolving fussy eating and returning pleasure and joy to the meal table.
She is also mum to two boys and the author of Creating Confident Eaters and Winner Winner I Eat Dinner. Her dream is that every child is able to approach food from a place of safety and joy, not fear.
Learn more about Judith here: https://theconfidenteater.com/about/

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