Routines improve eating challenges
When I run tailored workshops for families, I always start with routines.
Why? Because those alone can make a huge difference to feeding dynamics and therefore outcomes.
I am, therefore, a huge advocate of routines as you can see below:
8 reasons why routine is king:
1. Familiarity. Our brain loves the familiar, it loves the predictable and it craves knowing what is going to happen. The more it can do this the less effort it makes.
Daily routines help us to stay calm and balanced. A big plus, particularly for children who may be a little more anxious.
2. Ease. It makes life easier when we have plans.
Winging it can be exciting, but doing it daily likely makes things difficult and stressful. In general, structure, especially for an extended period of time, is easier.
3. Helpers. When your children know what is going to happen, they are better placed to help. Got a pre-schooler? I bet they know when their kindy breaks happen, when it’s ‘tidy up time’ etc.
At the weekend, in holidays, or for before and after school/kindy, a board with pictures of what needs to get done means they can get involved and do some of the work. For older children they can help create their own plan to work to.
4. Structure. For children who are food anxious structure around food is the first step to supporting them to eat more competently.
Defined eating opportunities throughout the day helps (as happens in school/kindy). For children, comfort is more likely when they know exactly what will happen and when on the food front.
5. Cruise. A routine often makes you more efficient and requires less effort. You spend less time thinking and have fewer decisions to make. If you know the routine is breakfast then brushing teeth then … you don’t have to think about it.
This is also true for your child. It is one of the reasons that educational facilities follow defined timetables.
6. Procrastination support. It can save you time. We procrastinate less if we can jump straight into a plan and get going. Similarly, for your children, if they know what the routine is before or after school there is less time to disappear into media and then find it impossible to return to reality!
7. Habits. Once you build and have good habits flourishing, they are easier to maintain and for the brain to sit in.
8. Self-confidence. Being productive is good for self-confidence as is being a valued member of the family ‘team’.
Children are enabled to do this when they know what is happening and what their role is in it.
All of these are general reasons why routines are important.
When it comes to food and effectively supporting a child who is uncomfortable around eating, I would say it’s even more important.
How routines support eating
1. Pre-dinner routine. A pre-dinner routine can be as effective as a bedtime one. Most people have a bedtime routine, either specifically planned or one that has come about organically.
Replicating that by having set activities to undertake before dinner is great for all children, but particularly those who struggle to come to the table, who are reluctant to stay there or who are not able to focus once there.
A pre-dinner routine is often more effective if it ‘gets the sillies out’. For example, a two minute song to dance to, a mini tramp to bounce on or a dash around the garden. It’s great if this is predictable.
The song could be followed by washing hands, then helping to set the table. Being part of the actual dinner prep – even just in the table setting – helps your child become more invested in the process.
The final part of the routine may be a call to the table or even a bell to ring.
2. Relaxed. When you have a plan, it makes everything easier. In turn, when things are easier, you are likely to be more relaxed. If you are more relaxed, it enables your child to be more relaxed. The more relaxed we are, the more likely we are to eat.
3. Reassuring. Knowing what to expect is reassuring. It’s our brain’s comfort position. Again, this enables
your child to approach their meal more confidently.
Routines can feel stifling, but they can also be super helpful both for you and your child. It takes away some of the unnecessary uncertainty about food that can creep in when things are a little ad hoc. This is particularly important for children who are food anxious.
Judith, MA Cantab (Cambridge University), MSc Psychology (first-class honours), is working on a PhD, is an AOTA accredited picky eating advisor, and internationally certified nutritional therapist and neuro-motor development practitioner. She works with 100+ families every year resolving fussy eating and returning pleasure and joy to the meal table.
She is also mum to two boys and the author of Creating Confident Eaters and Winner Winner I Eat Dinner. Her dream is that every child can approach food from a place of safety and joy, not fear.
Learn more about Judith here: https://theconfidenteater.com/about/