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Must have advice for super selective eaters

Blogs, Creating Confident Eaters, Family support for picky eating, Picky eating support / By
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Must have advice for super selective eaters

Milly wanted peanut butter on crackers for breakfast, lunch and dinner. She flatly refused any other food and was quite content to be hungry and skip the ice cream her brother was offered. 

She never seemed interested in food and her parents were desperate to help her – sound familiar?

Although this is the reality for a surprising number of parents, the great news is that you have enormous influence over your child’s long-term eating success, even if it seems like they have all the power, and the ball is totally in their court.

What you do is critical. You lead, you set the bar high, you show your child what to do.

You also create an atmosphere of support and progress.

Must have advice

1. Empower your child. Picky eating is demoralizing and often stressful and frustrating. However, the way you approach food and feeding can have such an impact on your child.

Using words like fussy and picky are negative. And yes, I know I use them, but only in communicating messages to parents. I would never say it in front of a child and advise parents to ensure they are not words their child hears.

Negative words – and not just fussy or picky either – may become a self-fulfilling prophecy and convey to a child that they are indeed stuck.

Instead, if you can adopt a growth mentality that helps long-term. This means envisioning where they are going and how they are going to get there and then speaking and acting in accordance with that.

How you ask? Well, the sub-conscious is very powerful, so what you tell it can impact on what you believe you can or can’t do. If you constantly tell yourself you are bad at maths, the chances are you will be!

Advice for parents of very fussy eaters, Judith Yeabsley|Fussy Eating NZ, boy doing maths, #adviceforparentsofveryfussyeaters, #adviceforparentsofverypickyeaters, #helpaddingfoodsfussyeating, #helpfortoddlerfussyeaters, #helpfortoddlerpickyeaters, #helpaddingfoodforpickyeaters, #theconfidenteater, #fussyeatingNZ, #pickyeatingNZ #helpforpickyeaters, #helpforpickyeating, #recipespickyeaterswilleat, #recipesfussyeaterswilleat #winnerwinnerIeatdinner, #Recipesforpickyeaters, #Foodforpickyeaters, #wellington, #NZ, #judithyeabsley, #helpforfussyeating, #helpforfussyeaters, #fussyeater, #fussyeating, #pickyeater, #pickyeating, #supportforpickyeaters, #creatingconfidenteaters, #newfoods, #bookforpickyeaters, #thepickypack, #funfoodsforpickyeaters, #funfoodsdforfussyeaters

Being stuck in negative thinking patterns when it comes to food is normal and logical. Experience tells you that your child cannot do a lot of things. However, a switch to thinking and therefore speaking about it positively is helpful long-term.

It’s of course not just the way you think, but changing your thinking and language over time changes theirs.

A handy way to think about eating positively and using those sort of words, is by switching the thoughts to reading instead of eating. If you had a child who struggled to read, you would not be telling them they are bad at reading and will never be able to do it!

The language and approach you would use for other childhood challenges can be really useful in the eating sphere.

2. Think long-term. The more selective a child, usually the longer it will take to resolve fussy eating.

Eating is a complex undertaking. It involves all eight senses and is social, emotional, and physiological

There are multiple areas in which things can go awry.

Fixing picky eating is likely a long-term challenge. Knowing this is important so you can adjust your expectations. If you know this is not something that will be done and dusted by next month, you can approach it appropriately.

However, even if it is going to take a long time:

i) It does not have to be a negative experience. In fact, it can be a labour of love and a lovely, gentle process for you and your child.

ii) How great is it to know that even if it’s a few years away, you have helped your child become more competent and confident around food? Imagine what that looks like in practice. Restaurants, social occasions, one family meal!

Advice for parents of very fussy eaters, Judith Yeabsley|Fussy Eating NZ, child in restaurant, #adviceforparentsofveryfussyeaters, #adviceforparentsofverypickyeaters, #helpaddingfoodsfussyeating, #helpfortoddlerfussyeaters, #helpfortoddlerpickyeaters, #helpaddingfoodforpickyeaters, #theconfidenteater, #fussyeatingNZ, #pickyeatingNZ #helpforpickyeaters, #helpforpickyeating, #recipespickyeaterswilleat, #recipesfussyeaterswilleat #winnerwinnerIeatdinner, #Recipesforpickyeaters, #Foodforpickyeaters, #wellington, #NZ, #judithyeabsley, #helpforfussyeating, #helpforfussyeaters, #fussyeater, #fussyeating, #pickyeater, #pickyeating, #supportforpickyeaters, #creatingconfidenteaters, #newfoods, #bookforpickyeaters, #thepickypack, #funfoodsforpickyeaters, #funfoodsdforfussyeaters

There are many parents who started where you are but are now reaping the rewards and soooo pleased that they did start, continue and see progress. Even a few years is a tiny blip in the swing of a life.

3. Appreciate progress. If resolving fussy eating is going to be a long-term project, it’s important that you know you are not wasting your time and that things are working.

Unfortunately, everyone has been taught to measure progress in terms of eating. Doing this can be so demoralising ☹

A super selective eater may need a lot of time before eating new foods is comfortable, however, they are usually showing many signs of progress before that.

If you don’t recognize progress, you are very likely to give up, even though what you’re doing is working.

I love how this had been a ‘game-changer’ for many families. It turns “they will never eat anything new” into “wow, you should see what xxx just did”.

Advice for parents of very fussy eaters, Judith Yeabsley|Fussy Eating NZ, playing with food, #adviceforparentsofveryfussyeaters, #adviceforparentsofverypickyeaters, #helpaddingfoodsfussyeating, #helpfortoddlerfussyeaters, #helpfortoddlerpickyeaters, #helpaddingfoodforpickyeaters, #theconfidenteater, #fussyeatingNZ, #pickyeatingNZ #helpforpickyeaters, #helpforpickyeating, #recipespickyeaterswilleat, #recipesfussyeaterswilleat #winnerwinnerIeatdinner, #Recipesforpickyeaters, #Foodforpickyeaters, #wellington, #NZ, #judithyeabsley, #helpforfussyeating, #helpforfussyeaters, #fussyeater, #fussyeating, #pickyeater, #pickyeating, #supportforpickyeaters, #creatingconfidenteaters, #newfoods, #bookforpickyeaters, #thepickypack, #funfoodsforpickyeaters, #funfoodsdforfussyeaters

If something is not okay in the hands, there is no way it is going into the mouth. Therefore, if your child is uncomfortable touching a food and over time becomes happy handling it, that would be enormous progress.

Similarly, if your child puts something in their mouth but takes it back out again, that could be a ‘wow’ moment. If your child can get something into the mouth, it’s a much shorter step to complete the final eating action.

4. Patience and consistency. Things can take time to work and knowing that means you
can afford to be patient.

Because it is a longer-term project, what you do on a daily basis is key. You could be doing great things but because you’re not recognising progress you inadvertently stop.

Let’s compare feeding and reading. Think of how many times, you show your child a book and allow them to get immersed in stories before they start reading back words! It gives a good indication of what you need to do with the carrot or the chicken.

Advice for parents of very fussy eaters, Judith Yeabsley|Fussy Eating NZ, reading, #adviceforparentsofveryfussyeaters, #adviceforparentsofverypickyeaters, #helpaddingfoodsfussyeating, #helpfortoddlerfussyeaters, #helpfortoddlerpickyeaters, #helpaddingfoodforpickyeaters, #theconfidenteater, #fussyeatingNZ, #pickyeatingNZ #helpforpickyeaters, #helpforpickyeating, #recipespickyeaterswilleat, #recipesfussyeaterswilleat #winnerwinnerIeatdinner, #Recipesforpickyeaters, #Foodforpickyeaters, #wellington, #NZ, #judithyeabsley, #helpforfussyeating, #helpforfussyeaters, #fussyeater, #fussyeating, #pickyeater, #pickyeating, #supportforpickyeaters, #creatingconfidenteaters, #newfoods, #bookforpickyeaters, #thepickypack, #funfoodsforpickyeaters, #funfoodsdforfussyeaters

Take that reading philosophy and think of the consistency it requires to get to the independent reading stage. The carrots will be the same. It’s building comfort.

Our brain loves to know what’s happening so creating routines is comforting. Building structure into food and feeding is critical.

5. Serve new foods. I know, I know, they haven’t eaten anything new for months (years) so you know it’s a waste of time! But go back through steps 2-4. It is a long-term project, it can take time, you do have to be patient and consistent.

If you serve new foods, it shows you believe it is worth it. If you don’t, what message does that send?

You also want to give your
child the opportunity to get to know a new food and be able to eat it, should they choose. If you are not serving new foods, they are definitely not eating them 😉

Serving new foods also makes the plate look different. Just that alone is important for all sorts of psychological reasons.

Advice for parents of very fussy eaters, Judith Yeabsley|Fussy Eating NZ, mandarins, #adviceforparentsofveryfussyeaters, #adviceforparentsofverypickyeaters, #helpaddingfoodsfussyeating, #helpfortoddlerfussyeaters, #helpfortoddlerpickyeaters, #helpaddingfoodforpickyeaters, #theconfidenteater, #fussyeatingNZ, #pickyeatingNZ #helpforpickyeaters, #helpforpickyeating, #recipespickyeaterswilleat, #recipesfussyeaterswilleat #winnerwinnerIeatdinner, #Recipesforpickyeaters, #Foodforpickyeaters, #wellington, #NZ, #judithyeabsley, #helpforfussyeating, #helpforfussyeaters, #fussyeater, #fussyeating, #pickyeater, #pickyeating, #supportforpickyeaters, #creatingconfidenteaters, #newfoods, #bookforpickyeaters, #thepickypack, #funfoodsforpickyeaters, #funfoodsdforfussyeaters

Helping a child who has challenges around new foods eat more widely is not easy, but it also doesn’t have to be miserable. There are many ways to make things easier for you as the parent and fun for your child.

It’s also where it’s important for you to remain upbeat and positive. The more stressed and anxious you are, the more difficult it can be for your child. They can pick up on your mood and that can in turn mean they become more anxious around food.

Your core goal is to make eating as calm and comfortable as possible.

Please forward this must have advice to any other parent you know who may be struggling.

Judith, MA Cantab (Cambridge University), MSc Psychology (first-class honours), is working on a PhD, an AOTA accredited picky eating advisor and internationally certified nutritional therapist. She works with 100+ families every year resolving fussy eating and returning pleasure and joy to the meal table.

She is also mum to two boys and the author of Creating Confident Eaters and Winner Winner I Eat Dinner. Her dream is that every child can approach food from a place of safety and joy, not fear.

Learn more about Judith here: https://theconfidenteater.com/about/

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