10 tips for a great Christmas with a fussy eater
We’re all looking forward to Christmas, aren’t we? Or are we?
Often Christmas with a fussy eater can be stressful. Especially if you’re celebrating with friends and relatives where even well-meaning family can inadvertently add enormous pressure onto you, and your children. As much as you want to enjoy the holiday, worry about food often clouds even the sunniest of destinations.
I have spoken to parents who plan the food for trips away like a military campaign, they are so worried that acceptable menu items may be few and far between. Experience has shown them that all nuggets are not created equal!
However, there are some great ways to support your child that avoid some of the flash points that can dampen your Christmas cheer.
How to have a great Christmas with a fussy eater
1. Relax – you are your child’s most important relationship so how you feel around food and feeding greatly influences how your child behaves. As challenging as it is to not worry about food around Christmas, the more you stress the more likely your child will too.
2. Pre-empt – Many of us have well-meaning friends and relatives who like to ‘help’ us parent. If you
are able, can you make a quick phone call or e-mail to explain that as much as you are working on supporting your child to eat more widely, Christmas is not the time to do this. Unsolicited advice is rarely heeded or welcomed!
3. Expectations – if you have a child who
eats no meat, no sauces and no vegetables the chances of them looking forward to a full turkey meal with all the trimmings is slim. Rather than hoping that Santa gifts a magic eating wand, if you go into meals with realistic expectations it helps to avoid disappointment and frustration.
4. Enjoyment – holidays are supposed to be for the enjoyment of everyone. This is especially true of Christmas Day. A child has the right to come to the table and be excited about what they’re going to eat. If that means some cheese and crackers, plain bread rolls, or even nuggets are available alongside the turkey this enables them to celebrate too. I know this may seem controversial but honestly, is Christmas Day the appropriate time to be teaching a child a lesson?
5. Explain – knowing what to expect can be very comforting for a child who is anxious around food. Explain what’s going to happen and how you are going to support them. This can enable them to relax. The more relaxed they are the more likely they are to eat.
6. Routines – having routines, even on holidays, is very comforting for children. If lunches and evening meals are going to be more ad hoc, then plan for a familiar and predictable breakfast. For a lot of picky eaters this is an easier meal. Making sure they are eating well first thing allows you to relax a little during the day too.
Or perhaps ‘bookend’. If lunch is going to be a challenge, then have an easy breakfast and dinner planned.
Knowing that you are going to be able to eat is comforting for a child and often then scaffolds more adventurous behaviour if the opportunity arises.
7. Plan – traveling or hanging out with friends and relatives can send timing and menus totally off to left field. We have all been to a dinner where food doesn’t arrive until 9.00pm – eek! It’s always good to make provision for those times when food isn’t going to be served in time or where the menu doesn’t tick boxes for your child. A low-pressure way to do this is to bring a share plate to social events. It enables your child to eat without inconveniencing anyone else or drawing attention to their eating habits.
8. Familiarity – we are always more comfortable when we’re around things that we’re familiar with. This applies to both objects and food. If your child has a favourite plate or cutlery, why not bring them along? This can help bridge a discomfort gap. With food you can do this by ensuring there are always things at the table they recognise.
9. Autonomy – your child is more likely to eat if they feel they have some control. For example, allow them to choose which foods to put onto their plate. You can set some parameters, so it doesn’t come back with just a pile of cookies! If you
are serving, then small portions are generally less overwhelming than big piles – especially if it’s a challenging food.
10. Boundaries – set some firm guidelines around mealtimes to create certainty for the whole family. For example, everyone stays at the table for 15 minutes and participates in the celebrations even if they are not eating. Or stating, “we won’t be having any more food for the next 2 hours so please make sure you’ve had enough to eat”.
Holidays can be stressful in the food sphere. Just being away from home or out of routine can put children out of their comfort zone.
However, they are often also a fabulous opportunity for children to eat foods they would not usually contemplate:
Why this could be a great Christmas
-Being around friends or relatives who are happily chomping on something different and doing it with pleasure can be a catalyst for your child to attempt something new.
– Being presented with something new in conjunction with something familiar can bridge the gap for your child and enable them to eat something more challenging. Turkey crackers anyone?
– Some children do feel more relaxed as they are on holidays and therefore, are able to do things that they would not normally consider.
– Not being the centre of attention when it comes to food can take a lot of pressure off a fussy eater and give them the ability to try foods without the shine of the spotlight.
– Having new foods on offer may give your child the opportunity to try a food that is not part of your normal repertoire.
– People cook, serve and present foods differently. Sometimes a food that has been prepared in a new way is more appealing for your child.
Whether you have a child who prefers chips to broccoli or one who only eats one brand of crackers and nuggets, there are strategies that enable everyone to have a great Christmas.
Is there a friend or relative that would benefit from this advice? Please feel free to share.
Judith, MA Cantab (Cambridge University), MSc Psychology (first-class honours), is working on a PhD, is an AOTA accredited picky eating advisor and internationally certified nutritional therapist. She works with 100+ families every year resolving fussy eating and returning pleasure and joy to the meal table.
She is also mum to two boys and the author of Creating Confident Eaters and Winner Winner I Eat Dinner. Her dream is that every child can approach food from a place of safety and joy, not fear.
Learn more about Judith here: https://theconfidenteater.com/about/