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Eliminate these reasons your fussy child is not eating

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Eliminate these reasons your fussy child is not eating

Sarah’s daughter refused anything except her favourite crackers with her favourite spread and even then, the volume she ate was frighteningly small. Sarah felt stressed every day about what was happening.

What we realised though was that this was logical. Her daughter had been struggling with silent reflux for months before it was diagnosed and treated. She had reduced the foods she was eating to better manage the symptoms.

If there are medical or skills deficits preventing your child eating widely and well, it’s important to know. Or if there are things you can easily change that may be interrupting competent eating it’s great to be aware.

Plus, identifying why there are feeding issues can help resolve them. The solution can be tailored to address the core problem. 

Underlying reasons
your fussy child may not be eating

There are some issues that frequently affect children’s eating. Therefore, it’s good to eliminate these as reasons, or seek help if you recognise any of these signs in your child:

1. Oral motor skills. If you have a younger child there may be skill gaps, meaning they are unable to eat effectively.

Signs to look for during eating are choking, coughing, gagging, holding food in the mouth, food falling from the mouth and spitting out half chewed food.

2. Sensory challenges. Sometimes the feeling of certain food in the mouth is overwhelmingly challenging, occasionally to the point of pain. If this is the case, it is logical that food is refused.

If you notice your child has sensory sensitivities in general this almost certainly will be affecting their eating. Children with autism, ADHD or similar traits commonly have sensory sensitivities.

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Interoception (the eighth sense) is used for determining internal body cues, like are we hungry. If the brain is not receiving signals to say that the body needs food, this can be a problem – although this is not common.

However, if your child consistently has one or two bites to eat and then is not hungry (and they are on a regular meal schedule and do not have snacks/ milky drinks between) this is something to check into.

NOTE: Many picky eaters seem disinterested in many foods or don’t eat very much. There is a difference between this and never feeling hungry.

3. Pain. If eating is uncomfortable, it’s not surprising that food is refused. Pain or discomfort may come from undiagnosed allergies making the tummy sore, acid reflux or even a regular illness like a sore throat.

4. Constipation. A big, uncomfortable mass in the bowels is never pleasant! As our digestive system is one big tube, if we are constipated it can make eating very unappealing.

If you suspect your child is constipated, getting it resolved as soon as possible is important, both to stop the problem getting worse and so it doesn’t affect the eating.

Why a fussy child is not eating, Judith Yeabsley|Fussy Eating NZ, moving house #whyafussychildisnoteating, #whyapickychildisnoteating, #helpaddingfoodsfussyeating, #helpfortoddlerfussyeaters, #helpfortoddlerpickyeaters, #helpaddingfoodforpickyeaters, #theconfidenteater, #fussyeatingNZ, #pickyeatingNZ #helpforpickyeaters, #helpforpickyeating, #recipespickyeaterswilleat, #recipesfussyeaterswilleat #winnerwinnerIeatdinner, #Recipesforpickyeaters, #Foodforpickyeaters, #wellington, #NZ, #judithyeabsley, #helpforfussyeating, #helpforfussyeaters, #fussyeater, #fussyeating, #pickyeater, #pickyeating, #supportforpickyeaters, #creatingconfidenteaters, #newfoods, #bookforpickyeaters, #thepickypack, #funfoodsforpickyeaters, #funfoodsdforfussyeaters

5. Stress/trauma/big changes. Children who are faced with something challenging can frequently stop eating well. A big change could be a move, a parent going away for a while or a new baby in the family.

6. Eating disorders. If your child is older and is frequently not eating, it’s good to check whether this is due to worry about weight gain. If so, getting immediate support is important.

More easily addressed reasons your fussy child may not be eating

There are many reasons a child may be eating less or even refusing whole meals.

Some of this will be age dependent so I will flag that as we go through the list:

1. Volume is up and down. It’s quite normal for volumes eaten to fluctuate – especially for littlies. I think part of the problem is that we often have a portion size that is appropriate in our heads and would love our child to eat to that specification.

Not eating everything on the plate is very different from not eating, however. You may have expectations of what you believe your child should be eating which is larger than what in actuality they need. Their stomach is the size of their fist 😊

The reality is that the amount you eat should be dependent on your energy needs so eating a lot one meal or one day and less the next is fine.

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The busier you are, the more energy – in general – your body needs. If your child is less active, then you may see a reduction in the volume of food eaten.

They also may eat in spurts. So, they may have a big breakfast and much smaller lunch and dinner.

2. Not hungry. Because children do not have big stomachs, it’s easy to inadvertently prevent eating.

If they are drinking a lot of milk or juice between meals, they are getting both the calories they need and also taking up space in the tummy. It’s usually much easier to drink than eat so this is common.

Snacking between meals can prevent food being eaten at lunch or dinner. A child may have only a handful of crackers, but if this is before the meal it can easily kill the appetite.

Conversely, if your child is over hungry, that can also prevent food from being eaten.

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3. Too distracted. If eating is not exciting or if a child has far more interesting things to do, food is probably not a priority.

Children frequently don’t eat well at Kindy or school as they have lots of other things going on. Eating is not top of the list of things to do.

Similarly, if at home and there are many things happening it can mean food is not eaten. Toddlers or children who are not enthusiastic eaters are particularly prone to distractions.

4. Tired/overstimulated. At the end of the day especially, children are frequently overtired and so food becomes less of a priority, particularly if it’s challenging.

Similarly, by the end of the day they are more likely to be overstimulated. A busy day and many sensory experiences can mean that by evening they are unable to cope as well with tasks.

5. Feeling pressured. Children who are uncomfortable or anxious around food can stop eating when they feel pressured to eat.

Pressure may not be an overt pushing someone to eat, it can be many other actions that you do consciously or inadvertently as you so desperately want your child to eat well.

It could be talking about what they eat, micromanaging, bribing, hovering or even just intently monitoring their eating.

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6. Bored. Many fussy eaters have the same food day after day and this can become really boring. It is common for children who eat a narrow diet to drop foods they have previously eaten.

If you know exactly what will be served it’s paradoxically both comforting and boring at the same time!

7. No autonomy. Children can feel dis-empowered when they don’t feel they have a say in what’s happening.

If food is not particularly exciting to begin with, feeling that you are not able to make decisions as to what to eat, or never feel the food served is something you would choose it can become demotivating to eat.

Toddlers are in a developmental phase where they are seeking independence and testing boundaries. Not being able to make decisions can have negative repercussions.

8. Portion sizes. Too much food on the plate can be overwhelming. Feeling that there is no way you are able to eat it all can be dis-empowering. It may also mean a child feels they are failing.

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Having a crammed lunchbox can also mean a child finds tackling it overwhelming.

9. Anxiety. If a child has generalised anxiety, this can often extend to eating as well.

When a child is a fussy eater, then anxiety frequently becomes a factor around food. Either an experience has been negative previously and they are anticipating that same uncomfortable experience, or they refuse as a protective measure.

Better to say no and stay safe, than take unnecessary risks.

10. Not well. Not eating is common if not feeling top notch. It may not be something major but be enough to put a child off food for a period of time.

It’s always good to make sure there is nothing else happening if eating comes to a more abrupt stop.

Do any of these resonate with you?

 

Judith, MA Cantab (Cambridge University), MSc Psychology (first-class honours), is working on a PhD, an AOTA accredited picky eating advisor and internationally certified nutritional therapist. She works with 100+ families every year resolving fussy eating and returning pleasure and joy to the meal table.

She is also mum to two boys and the author of Creating Confident Eaters and Winner Winner I Eat Dinner. Her dream is that every child can approach food from a place of safety and joy, not fear.

Learn more about Judith here: https://theconfidenteater.com/about/

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