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The secret weapon for fixing fussy eating

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The secret weapon for fixing fussy eating, Judith Yeabsley|Fussy Eating NZ, #TheConfidentEater, #FussyEatingNZ, #TryNewFoods #HelpForFussyEating, #HelpForFussyEaters, #FussyEater, #FussyEating, #PickyEater, #PickyEating, #SupportForFussyEaters, #SupportForPickyEaters, #CreatingConfidentEaters, #TryNewFood #PickyEatingNZ #HelpForPickyEaters, #HelpForPickyEating, #Wellington, #NZ, #JudithYeabsley

The secret weapon for fixing fussy eating

One ‘thing’ is more  important than anything else!

Even if you feel you are drowning right now and nothing you do makes a difference, or that your child is getting worse, not better. Or if you dread meals and stress about nutritional deficits.

YOU are still the most important factor when it comes to your child’s eating.

“No one is as invested, spends as much time or knows a child like a parent”. Even if you outsource and get help with some aspects of your child’s eating support, you are still the one who drives it:

– You decide that help is required
– You figure out what is needed and when
– You coordinate, pay, and follow up
– In many cases, you are a key part of implementing new strategies

Because you are the most important factor, that can feel overwhelming particularly if things are not working well right now. If I’m the key, what happens if it’s all going to sludge?

The converse is, that it’s exciting to know that you can make a difference. And you can. I do not say this lightly, I say this with years of experience watching parents who are truly invested supporting children who are at the worst end of the picky eating spectrum.

So, how can you make a difference?

How parents are the secret weapon for their child’s fussy eating

How important YOU are to fixing your child’s fussy eating – Judith Yeabsley|Fussy Eating NZ, SOS, #HowImportantYOUAretoFixingFussyEating, #HowimportantYOUAretoFixingPickyEating, #TryNewFoods, #TheConfidentEater, #FussyEatingNZ, #HelpForFussyEating, #HelpForFussyEaters, #FussyEater, #FussyEating, #PickyEater, #PickyEating, #SupportForFussyEaters, #SupportForPickyEaters, #CreatingConfidentEaters, #TryNewFood #PickyEatingNZ #HelpForPickyEaters, #HelpForPickyEating, #RecipesPickyEatersWillEat, #RecipesFussyEatersWillEat, #WinnerWinnerIEatDinner, #Recipesforpickyeaters, #Foodforpickyeaters, #Wellington, #NZ, #JudithYeabsley, #BookForPickyEaters, #BookForFussyEaters, #ThePickyPack, #FunFoodsForPickyEaters, #FunFoodsForFussyEaters

1. Seek help – this may seem a little counterintuitive, but bear with me!

If your child’s eating is not improving and hasn’t for months (or years). Why would they suddenly magically snap out of it?

If the general trend is down, what stops that, turns it around and gets them going in the opposite direction?

Good questions to ask are:
– Is my child able to try new foods? – because if they are unable to do that, how can they go forwards?

– Are they dropping foods previously eaten? – because if they are dropping foods then they are not going forwards.

– Are they becoming more uncomfortable around food and feeding? – because if food is more difficult, is it likely that they will eat more variety in the short-term?

If you are seeing these warning signs and feel you have tried everything in your toolbox to fix things and nothing is working. Or little things work here and there but there is no overall progress then why not seek help?

Checking to make sure there is nothing physical preventing eating can be a good place to start. Once it’s confirmed that nothing is medically awry, then looking for support is the same as asking for help if your child struggles to walk or talk or read.

2. Be confident – there is definitely a reason I’m ‘The Confident Eater’. It is possibly the most important ingredient in supporting anyone to eat more comfortably and widely.

How important YOU are to fixing your child’s fussy eating – Judith Yeabsley|Fussy Eating NZ, Confidence, #HowImportantYOUAretoFixingFussyEating, #HowimportantYOUAretoFixingPickyEating, #TryNewFoods, #TheConfidentEater, #FussyEatingNZ, #HelpForFussyEating, #HelpForFussyEaters, #FussyEater, #FussyEating, #PickyEater, #PickyEating, #SupportForFussyEaters, #SupportForPickyEaters, #CreatingConfidentEaters, #TryNewFood #PickyEatingNZ #HelpForPickyEaters, #HelpForPickyEating, #RecipesPickyEatersWillEat, #RecipesFussyEatersWillEat, #WinnerWinnerIEatDinner, #Recipesforpickyeaters, #Foodforpickyeaters, #Wellington, #NZ, #JudithYeabsley, #BookForPickyEaters, #BookForFussyEaters, #ThePickyPack, #FunFoodsForPickyEaters, #FunFoodsForFussyEaters

As a parent what you think and what you do has an enormous impact on how your children are able to manage. If you believe your child is stuck in their eating patterns and will never eat more widely, how heavily does that weigh on them?

If I tell myself I’m too old to run, I probably am. If I tell myself losing weight is impossible, it probably is. If I think I’ll fail my exams then it’s not going to help me get A’s! Our minds are powerful machines and the way we think about things impacts dramatically on our actions.

If you believe your child will read, and continually approach books with that front of mind, eventually they do read. Having that same long-term conviction about eating and communicating that to your child is critical.

3. Be in charge – if you ask yourself honestly who is making the decisions around food in your house, what’s the answer? And don’t feel bad if your 3, 10- or 15-year-old seems to be at the wheel. Feeding a child who isn’t super comfortable around food is a huge challenge and often fed is best.

But, if you are not in charge of food and feeding it makes change impossible. Gently getting control back into your
corner is essential, even if you have a child who is super uncomfortable around meals.

How important YOU are to fixing your child’s fussy eating – Judith Yeabsley|Fussy Eating NZ, In charge, #HowImportantYOUAretoFixingFussyEating, #HowimportantYOUAretoFixingPickyEating, #TryNewFoods, #TheConfidentEater, #FussyEatingNZ, #HelpForFussyEating, #HelpForFussyEaters, #FussyEater, #FussyEating, #PickyEater, #PickyEating, #SupportForFussyEaters, #SupportForPickyEaters, #CreatingConfidentEaters, #TryNewFood #PickyEatingNZ #HelpForPickyEaters, #HelpForPickyEating, #RecipesPickyEatersWillEat, #RecipesFussyEatersWillEat, #WinnerWinnerIEatDinner, #Recipesforpickyeaters, #Foodforpickyeaters, #Wellington, #NZ, #JudithYeabsley, #BookForPickyEaters, #BookForFussyEaters, #ThePickyPack, #FunFoodsForPickyEaters, #FunFoodsForFussyEaters

Being in charge can look like:

– Deciding what gets served (while still including foods a child can eat)
– Scheduling meals so you
decide when it’s time to eat, not feeding your child when they ask for food
– Having family rules around meals, for example, everyone comes to the table, or we don’t get down from the chair until dinner is over.

Being in charge may be different for every family and will look different depending on your parenting style and your child’s eating challenges, but you are the one calling the shots!

4. Not being in the middle – although it’s important you are in charge you should also not be in the middle of the relationship your child has with food. What I mean by this operates on a number of levels. Micromanaging what your child eats rarely works. For example:

– Watching every mouthful or having a running commentary on what they eat or don’t doesn’t make for comfort around food.
– Pushing certain foods or volumes is counterproductive.
– Believing they will only eat if you are encouraging them or spoon feeding them. Many parents fall into this trap – with the best of intentions – but it takes away agency and prevents your child from learning to eat independently.

5. Set the scene – one of the critical components that supports a fussy eater to make progress is the environment. It’s such an important part of eating competence but is less frequently talked about than other factors.

How important YOU are to fixing your child’s fussy eating – Judith Yeabsley|Fussy Eating NZ, Setting the scene, #HowImportantYOUAretoFixingFussyEating, #HowimportantYOUAretoFixingPickyEating, #TryNewFoods, #TheConfidentEater, #FussyEatingNZ, #HelpForFussyEating, #HelpForFussyEaters, #FussyEater, #FussyEating, #PickyEater, #PickyEating, #SupportForFussyEaters, #SupportForPickyEaters, #CreatingConfidentEaters, #TryNewFood #PickyEatingNZ #HelpForPickyEaters, #HelpForPickyEating, #RecipesPickyEatersWillEat, #RecipesFussyEatersWillEat, #WinnerWinnerIEatDinner, #Recipesforpickyeaters, #Foodforpickyeaters, #Wellington, #NZ, #JudithYeabsley, #BookForPickyEaters, #BookForFussyEaters, #ThePickyPack, #FunFoodsForPickyEaters, #FunFoodsForFussyEaters

A parent being in charge, being confident and not being in the middle of the feeding relationship, all play into this. But it also about so much more. For example:

– Are mealtimes relaxed and fun? If not, you are probably stopping progress before it starts. No one is going to be excited about eating if they are feeling anxious, stressed, or angry.

– Is your child being given the opportunity to eat new foods? If they get served their favourites over and over it makes progress challenging.

– Do they know what to do? Are they watching a role model eating so they learn how to do it? Does your child see you tucking into the salad with pleasure?

Eating is a complex process, and when it goes wrong it can seem impossible to get things back on track.

However, as parents you are the secret weapon, a crucial part of the puzzle. Believing you can make a difference is a great first step.

Judith Yeabsley, Picky Eating Advisor. Fussy eaters NZ, Judith Yeabsley|Fussy Eating NZ, #pickyeatingspectrum, #helpaddingfoodsfussyeating, #helpfortoddlerfussyeaters, #helpfortoddlerpickyeaters, #helpaddingfoodforpickyeaters, #theconfidenteater, #fussyeatingNZ, #pickyeatingNZ #helpforpickyeaters, #helpforpickyeating, #recipespickyeaterswilleat, #recipesfussyeaterswilleat #winnerwinnerIeatdinner, #Recipesforpickyeaters, #Foodforpickyeaters, #wellington, #NZ, #judithyeabsley, #helpforfussyeating, #helpforfussyeaters, #fussyeater, #fussyeating, #pickyeater, #pickyeating, #supportforpickyeaters, #creatingconfidenteaters, #newfoods, #bookforpickyeaters, #thepickypack, #funfoodsforpickyeaters, #funfoodsdforfussyeaters

If you would like to have a chat about how we can help you, please feel free to book in a time to talk. I’m always happy to discuss your unique situation and look for simple ways to support you to help your child: https://calendly.com/judith-23/bookatimewithjudith?month=2025-05

Judith, MA Cantab (Cambridge University), MSc Psychology (first-class honours), is working on a PhD, an AOTA accredited picky eating advisor and internationally certified nutritional therapist. She works with 100+ families every year resolving fussy eating and returning pleasure and joy to the meal table.

She is also mum to two boys and the author of Creating Confident Eaters and Winner Winner I Eat Dinner. Her dream is that every child can approach food from a place of safety and joy, not fear.

Learn more about Judith here: https://theconfidenteater.com/about/

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