Help for Picky Eaters
Although eating challenges can be tough on the whole family, there are many ways you can help.
Everything from autism to allergies can set your child off on a different path around food. The longer you journey on this path and the further you wander from the direction everyone else is heading in, the more difficult it becomes for you and for your family.
However, you can make a difference. Armed with some simple strategies and a renewed confidence you can slowly support your child to head back in the right direction.
How to help your picky eater
If your child has more than one of the common challenges underlying fussy eating: https://theconfidenteater.com/blog/picky-eating-support/why-is-my-child-a-picky-eater/ it may make things tougher to overcome, but it does not mean that it is not going to happen.
I have watched families go from serving peanut butter on crackers for breakfast, lunch and dinner to cooking a normal menu, it can be done.
Similarly, I have seen children with autism or sensory issues who have been too scared to even touch a food that is not in the comfort zone be able to tackle new foods.
Let us look at some of the challenges and some of the solutions.
Resolving picky eating is often not complicated, but it is usually a long-term process. You make a firm commitment, make it a priority and then take steps each week to support progress.
Many of the actions are small and easy to do, but getting started and then consistency is the key.
Let’s look through the 10 common reasons for picky eating and talk through some strategies that may help your child:
1. Autism – being on the spectrum often means a rigid approach to many things. It also makes change a challenge.
Both of these create difficulties for resolving picky eating as rigidity – where a food has to be a specific brand or colour or served in exactly the same way – makes life difficult.
Not liking change is also a barrier for moving forwards as one of the key ways to support a child to eat new things is by introducing change.
A great way to start, whether your child is neurodivergent or not, is to figure out what they find the most challenging. Is it the appearance, the texture, the packaging, or the smell of a food that is key?
If it is the appearance, you can often make changes that are acceptable for your child. For example, a vanilla smoothie but with some apple puree added. If it doesn’t change the look, often it is a step that is okay.
If it is texture, and crunchy is the important thing then then search for other foods that have the same mouth feel.
Substituting roasted chick peas for chippies is probably too big a step, but you may be able to find a new chippie flavour or a different sort of cracker.
Each baby step takes you in a new direction and starts to build your confidence that change is possible.
2. Sensory sensitivities. Tackling these can often be done in the done in similar ways as listed above. What are the key challenges for your child? Is it the way something feels or the sound it makes, for example.
If something feels horrible on the hands, it is not going to be a winner in the mouth. But, did you know that helping your child to feel more comfortable with it on the hands actually helps when it goes in the mouth?
So using sensory bins or doing messy play can be supportive.
Older children often become less overwhelmed by their sensitivities as they age, but still have the same negative feelings towards the foods that were challenging previously.
In this case gently overcoming the initial gut reaction towards those foods – and a good way to do this is to handle and be around them – is really supportive.
3. Anxiety. Many children who are challenged around food are generally anxious. Or they may be extremely anxious, but only around food. It is a great place to ‘channel’ feelings as it is totally under their control.
When anxiety around food is the core challenge then gradually building more comfort around food will always help. Often doing this away from the table and not being focused on the eating side of things enables your child to gently become more confident.
4. Allergies and intolerances. If your child had an undiagnosed period where food made them uncomfortable, it is not surprising that picky has entered the equation.
Tackling this as you would any other discomfort or anxiety around food, with lots of low pressure contact in a non-threatening environment is a great start.
If certain foods need to be taken off the menu, it can be really tough at first. The first step is obviously, finding substitutes that tick as many boxes as possible while understanding that a new product is never going to be as easy to begin with as a trusted favourite.
Many of these strategies require time, patience and a lot of consistency.
5/6. Slow development of motor skills/other medical challenges.
It is first, important to check that there are no physical reasons preventing your child from eating.
Second, once you are sure there are no barriers to eating comfortably, it may be helpful to take a few steps backwards in order to go forwards. For example, current advice is if your child missed out on the playing with food stage, they go back and do this, even if they are now older.
Eating follows a sequential pattern and if you haven’t mastered one of the stages it can make things more challenging later.
7. Constipation.
A big mass of waste not moving through your system not only makes you uncomfortable but also makes it challenging to eat.
Resolving the constipation may not result in a magical change in the picky eating but it will remove one of the barriers to supporting your child to move forwards.
8/9. Trauma.
If your child’s eating struggles began with a particular challenge or because life threw a curve ball at them or the family, then making sure that is no longer an issue is the first step. For example, if there is a fear of choking, then solving that is priority number one.
If your child’s eating has gone off track and the initial challenge is long resolved, but they are still not eating well, then it is back to the gentle, consistent strategies that enable them to move forwards such as building their comfort around food and feeding.
Gently building comfort, demonstrating change can be okay, and giving them confidence.
10. Power.
Whether food began as a power struggle or not, over time power usually becomes a feature of picky eating challenges. Often, this is not even done consciously on the part of your child. You have all just fallen into routines and changing that is challenging and feels overwhelming.
If power is a part of the equation, then ensuring you manoeuvre yourselves back so you’re in charge is important.
It’s also about not having a you versus them situation at the table. Any time they are pitted against you the potential for a battle is there.
Eating is complicated and there are many factors that can either support or hinder your child’s progress. Understanding some of the reasons behind why your child finds food a struggle is a great start.
From there, it is building a plan and then putting it into action.
Over time you can have a child who is eating a far wider range than you ever thought possible!
If you’d like some help building a plan you can book in for a complimentary chat with me here: https://calendly.com/judith-23/bookatimewithjudith?month=2026-08
Judith is a PhD candidate in psychology, MSc Psychology (first-class honours) and is a graduate of Cambridge University. She is an AOTA accredited picky eating advisor, internationally certified nutritional therapist and neuro-motor development practitioner. She works with 100+ families every year resolving fussy eating and returning pleasure and joy to the meal table.
She is also mum to two boys and the author of Creating Confident Eaters and Winner Winner I Eat Dinner. Her dream is that every child can approach food from a place of safety and joy, not fear.
Learn more about Judith here: https://theconfidenteater.com/about/