When to Seek Help for Picky Eating – 10 Warning Signs
Eating is complex. It’s physical, social and psychological so there are many things that can go wrong. Combine that with temperament, developmental phases and additional challenges such as neurodivergence, sensory sensitivities or allergies, and it’s a wonder any of us can eat.
The development phases where your child is more likely to refuse foods or find feeding difficult are normal and important to see in the context of overall development. Babies are likely to eat well (although not all) but then when the toddler phase begins the wheels can fall off. There is an inbuilt fear of new foods called neophobia which is an evolutionary protection mode that prevented toddlers eating dangerous foods when they wandered away from mum.
Unfortunately, even though now it’s more likely to be Lego or the dog’s biscuits, toddlers still often refuse foods they were happily slurping up just recently. From a development point of view they are also testing boundaries and are wanting everything to be about them so demanding favourite foods is common. If you are in this stage do not despair, take deep breaths and keep gently serving foods anyway.
In fact, if feeding is not working well for you at the moment you are not alone. Approximately 50% of parents report that their child is fussy at some point. But when does that fussy tip into something more concerning?
Because there is no agreement in the science there is no one right answer. However, there are a series of signs you can use to assess whether your child’s eating challenges are a problem beyond just a phase of normal food refusals. Just take into account their age as 2-3 years olds are more likely to be difficult around food. However, if your child is over 2 years old and you are ticking yes for all or most of the 10 warning signs it is advisable to seek support for their eating:
- Weight/growth concerns: Most important is that your child is on their own growth curve. It doesn’t matter what their percentile is or how short they are, it’s more whether they are following the line on their own chart. If they are not this is a red flag particularly if they are losing weight/not growing.
2. Trying is not an option: If your child cannot try new foods that is a concern. How are they going to add new foods to the diet if they can’t taste them? Bear in mind, it is also normal for young children to refuse new foods so if your child is aged 2 to just turned 4 on its own this is not a reason to panic.
3. Not adding foods: Your child has not added a food to their diet for a long period. This is more concerning if they are also dropping previously accepted foods.
4. 20 foods or less: Your child has less that 20 foods that they’ll eat.
5. Food groups: Your child avoids whole food or texture groups for example they refuse to eat any fruits or any vegetables, or they don’t accept anything soft.
6. Rigidity: Your child has a very rigid approach to food for example foods must be prepared/served in a specific way or only one brand or flavour is accepted.
7. Extreme reactions: Your child has an extreme reaction to new foods. It’s not just a plain no, it’s being upset or anxious when presented with something unfamiliar.
8. Disrupted mealtimes: Mealtimes are stressful/disrupted and your child eats differently to the rest of the family.
9. Starve: You believe they would truly starve rather than eat something outside of their comfort zone.
10. Social difficulties: Social situations with food are difficult or uncomfortable.
As a parent you are the best judge of whether your child’s eating is a problem. Parents always know whether what they are seeing with their child’s eating is different to other children, that their problems just seem ‘more’. If your gut is telling you this is not the same as what everyone else seems to be experiencing, then it’s good to get it checked out.
Unfortunately, problems often get worse not better as they are unlikely to organically resolve themselves if your child is ticking many of the red flags listed above.
Judith, MA Cantab (Cambridge University), MSc Psychology (first-class honours), is working on a PhD, is an AOTA accredited picky eating advisor and internationally certified nutritional therapist. She works with 100+ families every year resolving fussy eating and returning pleasure and joy to the meal table.
She is also mum to two boys and the author of Creating Confident Eaters and Winner Winner I Eat Dinner. Her dream is that every child can approach food from a place of safety and joy, not fear.
Learn more about Judith here: https://theconfidenteater.com/about/